United Airlines.....you fucking bastards you broke my guitar....

Ain't it bad enough the food on your plane

Tastes like it came out of a garbage can

Make my ass walk all the way

To special baggage to check my babe

You let some fuckin' moron

Drop an elephant on an old piece of wood

Kinda reminds me of when I worked at Hardy's

And you'd piss me off and I'd spit on your fuckin' food.

Now that ain't no way to be

Ever since I read the Tao of Pooh

I don't pretend I understood everything

But I think I know what not to do.

I'm never gonna eat french fries again, the way I once did,

Ever since I spit on you.

So maybe it all comes 'round

Honestly I never spat on your food

Like I wanted to

But I undercooked your chicken

Remember when Hardy's had chicken and biscuits, man, that's pretty rude

You smashed my guitar but my baby loves me

He'd sing for me any day I want him to

 

So this morning, I was pretty tired when I got to the 'port

I was pretty tired - alright I was overtired (How tired were you?)

I was trying to be a good sport

So I had to go to the bathroom, this guy, when I got to the ticket counter

He said, "You know you can't check someone if they don't have a ticket"

I said, "Fuck you wont you lick it"

He said, looked at me, said "I'm on the FAA"

I said, "Won't you, fuck you, you go away, do I look like a Jihad mother fucker"

He said "No, but you look like a rock n' roll soul"

I said, "Wont you just eat it Mr. Man, you're gettin' old."

So maybe he made a call to the boys at the bottom of the bus

Said 'Won't you get his guitar, fuck it up"

Well, see if I forget about you

My baby's still singing in Denver

My baby's still singing in Denver

Hold the wall, whatever man, she's cool.